Michelle’s family had a history of heart issues – but Michelle’s doctor still told her that all her tests were coming back just fine, despite feeling like her “heart was off.” In 2024, Michelle experienced Sudden Cardiac Arrest (SCA) while at home with her partner. Now, Michelle is sharing her story to help other survivors like her feel less alone.

Michelle was born with a heart condition called SVT – and diagnosed when she was six years old. She started medication and later had a heart ablation surgery at fifteen. “I felt like something was still off, but the cardiologist would run tests and say everything was just fine,” she says.

In 2008, a month before undergoing her heart ablation, Michelle’s mother passed away suddenly. Her cause of death was undetermined. “My family thought it might have been her heart,” says Michelle. “One of my sisters was born with a hole in her heart, and I have SVT – so we had a history of heart stuff in our family.”

In November of 2023, Michelle experienced Sudden Cardiac Arrest (SCA) while at home with her husband.

“There are so many what ifs in my SCA story,” says Michelle. “My husband was home on that day, because he happened to work from home on Wednesdays. He started at 8 AM, and I usually start work at 9 AM. A few minutes after he started work, he got this feeling – this instinct – that he should come check on me in bed and tell me good morning. He found me unresponsive, and called 911, who walked him through CPR. That saved my life.

“If it hadn’t been a Wednesday, if he hadn’t listened to that strange gut feeling, or even if he’d been in a meeting, I might not be here today. I know how lucky I am and it’s scary to think about it,” she says.

In the hospital, Michelle was given an S-ICD due to her heart history. The cause of her SCA came back as idiopathic (unknown cause) ventricular fibrillation.

“With an idiopathic [unknown] cause, you don’t really have a reason for why your SCA happened, which makes it extra scary,” says Michelle.

Michelle has gone through extensive testing to figure out her “why” – including genetic testing (which resulted in a Variant of Uncertain Significance, or VUS); a drug-induced stress test; and a treadmill test. “With IVF, at some point, it’s detrimental to your mental health to keep looking for a why,” she says. “You have to learn to be OK with not having answers. I’m seen by a good medical team, and I have the protection of my S-ICD.”

Michelle has been adjusting to life after her SCA and with her S-ICD. “My main struggle was that I felt like my body had been violated because of my device,” she says. “I have to trust something that I can’t see and don’t really know how to trust – my S-ICD. I know that my friends and family find comfort in it; I’m not sure that I do quite yet.”

After her SCA, Michelle experienced symptoms including short-term memory issues, which made it hard to retain the information her doctors told her; loss of energy and extreme fatigue; and the mental health issues that arise from experiencing a traumatic event like SCA.

“As much as this is my story, it’s also the story of my husband and friends and chosen family,” she says. “It was really hard on them, too.”

For others who have had SCA, Michelle’s advice is to give yourself the time you need to heal.

“There’s this narrative that you should just be grateful to be alive, and not focus on the trauma that an event like this causes,” says Michelle. “It’s been nearly a year and it’s still hard to accept that an event like that can happen seemingly out of nowhere. Give yourself time to heal, and let the people around you know that you need that time.”

She also wants those who have IVF to know that it’s important to get used to that discomfort of not having concrete answers. “It’s really hard to live with, but it’s worth figuring out coping strategies to learn to be okay with the uncertainty.”

Michelle has also found it helpful to connect with a community of others who’ve experienced something similar. “I joined the SADS ICD Support Group – but whatever your capacity is, really try and connect with others,” she says. “You’re not alone. And your support system is critical.”